Complaining Again?

Okay, so I gave up complaining for Lent this spring, and I think I might need to revisit that concept.

This past week has been frustrating - Dan was sick with sciatic nerve problems, and in miserable pain. I was out of town for work. My computer crashed and still isn't working. My internet is down. My cell phone died. The media tour i'm working on for next week has been problematic. And to top it all off, when I went to the bathroom at the hotel, soap squirted up my arm. Stuff has been happening with friends & family back home. Stuff has been happening with friends & family in Ontario. Enough wrenches have been thrown in my perfect plans this past week to make me run entirely off kilter.

However, those things are small things. They will pass. In five years, I will remember none of them. Good things are happening. I drove back and forth to Toronto a number of times, and was perfectly safe. No car accidents, despite my stressed out distraction. My computer will eventually get fixed. My friend Erin is here this weekend, and we've laughed enough to work off a few of the Jelly Bellys we've been eating. I had wonderful meals with friends at the Keg and Mandarin last week. Dan is feeling much better, if not perfect. I have the luxury of warm water and soap to wash my hands. I have a job that I love. I get paid to do things that I love. I have friends and family that teach me that i'm loveable.

So, to those who have endured my rants this past week, I ask for your forgiveness. Life is good, God is patient and endlessly gracious with me, and I need to state that far louder than my yowling at temporary inconveniences and frustrations.

Perhaps I need to do another 40-day complaint fast - maybe for, say, Rosh Hashana or something. (and maybe I need to fast from Jelly Bellys also)

What are you Giving up for Lent?

Perhaps you give something up for Lent every year. This is a fairly new thing for me to take seriously - really something i've only done over the past few years. I grew up in a liturgical tradition, and knew about Lent - but mostly I was concerned with Pancake Tuesday and getting Good Friday off. Nothing about repentance or reflection.

Now, however, I'm taking this seriously. Giving something up for Lent has been an exercise in discipline, and really has been one that allows me to examine my sinful nature in the lead-up to Easter. Examining my sinful nature allows me to understand why Christ died, and gives me a new perspective on His resurrection. It allows me to reflect - although reflection is something, arguably, that I should be doing every day of the year.

I can say, with conviction, that examining my own inherent tendency and inclination to sin, which is highlighted during Lent, gives new meaning to the words of the hymn by Stuart Townsend:

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

So, what am I giving up for Lent? Complaining.

It wasn't what I wanted to give up (since i'm on a diet right now, chocolate would have been a lot easier) but I believe that I've been compelled to give up complaining. I don't expect it will be easy - and it is something that people will be able to catch me in if I don't catch myself first. I'm hoping that by giving up the habit of complaining about circumstances will force me to have a proper perspective - knowing God's presence and His activity in my circumstances.