Oh...how little provocation it takes for me to break Lent.
I confess, all it took was a day of travel exhaustion to lead me to complain bitterly on Monday evening. After being yelled at by an Air Canada lounge employee, a delayed (deicing) flight to Nashville, a wait for my luggage, a taxi ride to the hotel, and a round-about shuttle ride to a late-night dinner meeting, I was tired and cranky, and I WANTED to complain. My travel companion / coworker, Tim, worked to keep spirits light by laughing at the ridiculous situation, but you know what? I didn't WANT to laugh. I wanted to gripe and let my frustration be aired. I did NOT want to allow God to show me what He would have me learn in this situation.
Later that evening, and the next day, I realized that the source of my complaining (other than simple weariness) was control. The situation was out of my control - the delays, the detours, the waits, the surprise meetings - I had no control, and wasn't necessarily willing to recognize that although I had no control of the circumstances, God did. I wasn't willing to surrender my grabbing 'me' attitude for Spirit-generated self-control.
So this is what Lent is about, isn't it? Recognizing our own sinful nature and laying down our 'self' so that we recognize God's rule in our life and in our world. Oh... I have so far to go. However, i'm back in the saddle, as it is, and praising God for snow (as it means a snow day for me today!), rather than complaining about winter!
How are you doing on your Lent fast?
- Ellen
- There's a rumour about me and the witness protection program (WPP), however - although it's taken me all over the place - Europe, Central America, the US and Canada, life for me has been a matter of divine serendipity. And hey, I ended up by meeting and marrying the best man I've ever known. I'm a planner, but the Great Designer hasn't allowed me to map out my life. Instead, the map He's had for me has been full of surpises, delight and sorrow, but it's been good. At the risk of overusing a CS Lewis idea - although He's not been safe, He's been very, very good. He makes me far braver than I'd ever be without Him.
2 comments:
Ellen:
Do you have a penalty if you fail? The guys group I used to be in each year if we did something like you and failed we would put a penalty in a jar and towards the end of lent we would decide a charity of person or cause to donate the money to. If we gave something up ie coffee out we would put that money aside and give that in the jar.
Just wondering.
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